The three C’s of a loving, lasting, happy marriage; commitment, communication and consistency. Not all of these come easy and sometimes they can be downright hard. I know from my 25-year marriage to my college sweetheart. I think that these three C’s are essential to marriage, no, let’s make that vital to a marriage. Yes, I do believe that there are principles in the Bible that can play a major role in a lasting, loving, happy marriage. In my blog, I am going to focus on the three C’s. I will break them up in a set of three blogs.
First Commitment, Websters dictionary says commitment is: a promise to be loyal to someone or something. How do you define commitment in a marriage? Many feel it comes from a sense of duty. Some people are afraid of the word commitment. Some compare it to a ball and chain that binds you to a wrong decision. And some don’t understand what real commitment is. I think of it more like an anchor. An anchor keeps a boat steady; commitment keeps a marriage steady. To be happy in your marriage, you need to feel more than just a sense of obligation to your spouse. Becoming best friends with your mate will help commitment grow in your relationship.
Marriage is not easy; it takes hard work. Commitment requires hard work and self-sacrifice. You have to be willing to compromise to please your mate. Too often one or the other in a relationship is not willing to yield. One may have the attitude of ” What’s in it for me?” How many selfish couples do you know who have a happy marriage? No matter how sweet the couple felt about each other when they first fell in love, if there is no commitment, then the relationship has less of a chance of lasting.
How do you strengthen your commitment in your marriage?
8 tips to help strengthen your marriage:
- Make your marriage a priority: If you invested little or no time in your relationship, then your mate will find it difficult to believe you are committed. Make sure you spend time together regularly. Give them your undivided attention.
- Actions: show your commitment by your behavior. Laugh together, date each other. Plan your future together.
- Tell them: tell your mate you are committed to your marriage. Make sure you children know that your are committed to your spouse.
- Remember: remember what you love about your spouse, remember all the positive parts of your relationship.
- Goals: What do you see happening in your marriage? How do you want it to grow, where do you want it to improve.
- Speech: Examine what you are saying to your spouse in the heat of an argument. Don’t say things you will later regret. You don’t want, to say things that undermine your commitment. But rather address the issue.
- Ask: Look at mature couples, those who have weathered marital issues successfully. Ask them questions to gain insight on what commitment means to them and how that has helped their marriage.
- Show it to everyone: Make it obvious that you are committed to your mate. Pictures of them at work, talk positively about them to friends and workmates. You will be emphasizing to others and yourself that you are committed to your spouse.
If you are experiencing problems in your marriage, now is the time to act! Now is the time to strengthen your commitment to each other. The tips above are just some that I have found useful. I hope you do too!
“I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.”
-Mary Ann Shaffer