family – Page 6

This last year and a half has been somewhat of a rude awakening. I think I have been a little bit in a dream land. What I mean is I didn’t really realize I may have a limited time left with my parents. I was taking for granted the fact that they have been here and relatively healthy, not really believing or wanting to believe someday they might not be in good health or worse not even be here.

What brought me into reality? It was like a slap into reality really! The news that no child, brother, sister, parent, aunt, uncle, friend…pretty much no one wants to get. Cancer…my Dad has cancer. He actually had cancer years ago, prostate cancer and they took care of it with a prostatectomy. I have to say I kind of expected one day that my dad would be diagnosed with cancer. You see my Dad has a lot of cancer in his family. His father and three sisters all had cancer, three of those four died of it. So when my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I thought “okay, this is going to be Dad’s cancer”. He had the surgery and went back for all his subsequent tests and it was gone. We were elated to say the least. The worst was done. He hasn’t had any problems with the prostate cancer since that time and still doesn’t.

Unfortunately the prostate cancer was not “Dad’s cancer”. He has a new and entirely different cancer, its far worse… stage 4 lung cancer. Just writing that makes me want to cry. Stage 4, no cure, just containment… I know there are a lot of you out there that can relate to this.

The space of time since my Dad was diagnosed in August of 2013 has been painful to say the least. My Dad has always been the strong one. I know most children feel their father is tough. But I am telling you this man was tough. He has been like a tree rooted deep in the ground when the storm is raging trying to tip him over. He has been the one keeping his own siblings together when they went through the loss of parents and siblings. He is a strong advocate of family. No matter what the issue, you work through it and keep the family close. That’s one of the many things I love about him. But watching this strong man deteriorate physically and see his own emotional struggle with the future has been heart wrenching. My Dad has been the voice of reason, the parent I came to when I needed some strength. I only found this side of my Dad later in my own adult life, although it’s been there all along, I just never realized it. I have always been close to my Mom and have pretty much gone to my Mother for everything so it has been a bonus to finally have that close relationship with my Father too. Fathers can be the voice of reason when your emotions are trying to rule your actions. I do believe men have this quality, my own husband is much like my Father in that way.

This new chapter in our life has been the rude awakening I talked about. It’s made me more aware of how time is precious and I need to take every opportunity to spend as much time as possible with my family, especially with my Dad and Mom. My parents live in Oregon, so I have to plan my trips in advance. I can’t just up and drive to see them like I used to when I lived in Oregon, only 2 hours away from them. I really enjoy my visits home. We spend quality time together, sometimes just sitting in the same room reading etc… It’s nice. It’s an added bonus that I am able to see my younger sister, her family & my younger brother on these trips home.

I encourage all of you to not take for granted the time left with your loved ones. Take the time now to spend with them. I am thankful my Dad is still here and no matter how much time is left with my parents, I will try very hard to not waste one precious moment of it.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.

-Richard Bach

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

― Elbert Hubbard

Who is a true friend? A friend is not just an acquaintance. We may have many acquaintances—neighbors, colleagues, and people we meet now and again. A friend is a friend you can rely on, you connect with, and someone you are comfortable sharing your feelings with, someone who is a loving listener.

Good friends are good for your health!

True friendship requires an investment of time, energy, and emotional commitment. It is an honor to be someone’s friend. Friendship brings privileges, but it also involves responsibilities. Friendship takes effort, but that effort is well worth the enjoyment and comfort you gain from a good friend. It involves give and take. At times you are the one giving support and at other times you are the one receiving it. Those times are part of what strengthens the friendship bond.

A good friend is someone who no matter how long it’s been since you have seen her, you are able to pick up as if no time has gone by at all. I feel very fortunate to have friends like that.

A close friend doesn’t always have to be someone outside your family, it could be a sister, a brother, cousin etc… We don’t always find this friend in our teen years, most women I know have found as we have aged and our lives have changed, our values are different and we have matured into the person we are today, this is when we have found our true friendships. Most definitely your mate should be your closest friend!

Here are 8 points I think are important in a true friend:

Improve your mood: Friends boost your happiness, happiness is infectious and spending time with positive people can elevate your mood.
Help reach goals: Friends can help you when you’re trying to get fit, write your first book, learn a new language, etc… Encouragement from your friend will boost your willpower and increase your chance of success.
Decrease your stress and depression: Friendship can reduce isolation and loneliness. It increases your sense of belonging, improves your self-confidence and self-worth.
Communication: Having good communication with our friends is a must. Having friends to turn to for company and support as we age and go through the heartache of losing a loved one is vital.
Be real: You can laugh or cry, act silly or serious, with a real friend you will feel the warmth of that connection. Friends will speak from the heart without fear of being belittled or having their confidences betrayed.
Forgiveness: We all make mistakes and might hurt the ones we love. A real friend can forgive the mistake when one is truly sorry. A real friend will reach out to you.
Loyalty: Loyalty is vital for friendship. True friends don’t gossip about each other, they have your back. You feel safe with those friends.
Celebrate: Real friends celebrate your victories with you. They cheer you on and want what is best for you. They are genuinely happy for you.