Tag: happy

The 3 C’s of a Loving, Lasting, Happy Marriage: Consistency

Raina Birden1 Comment

The three C’s of a loving, lasting, happy marriage; commitment, communication and consistency.

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Why is consistency part of my three C’s?

When we meet that special someone, and we take the time to get to know them, we are assessing their qualities. Trying to decide if we can relate to this person for the long term. So those qualities we fell in love with are vital to be there after the courting stage is over. That is one reason why I believe longer courtships are important, the more time you spend with someone the better chance for you to see who that person really is. If that same person changes who they are after a few months or years, then that can kill a relationship. When I think of my marriage, I can truly say my husband has been consistent, consistent with who he is, how he treats me, consistent with his love and respect for me. I fell in love with him and those qualities. Him remaining consistent in those qualities has been a vital part of our happiness.

I remember when dating my husband I made it my goal to cook him specials meals. I would take the time to learn different recipes. What man doesn’t like a good meal right? But did I stop doing that after I knew I had “won” him? No, I just worked harder at crafting the cooking skills. I can tell you he still compliments my cooking and loves the passion I put into cooking a yummy meal.

Don’t be taken in by someone that promises you things or tells you impressive things about themselves. While attending college, I met a few of those types of guys and thankfully I didn’t fall for the way they tried to woo me with this sort of talk. My parents taught me values and what to look for in people, so I wasn’t taken in by such individuals.

Relationships are intricate and actions always cause reactions. If we stop doing the things that were appreciated or relied on by our significant other, we should expect and will get an adverse reaction.

How do you ensure consistency in your relationship? Here are a few tips:

  1. Don’t start something you can’t or won’t continue. You don’t want to set high expectations that you can’t maintain.
  2. Don’t pretend to like something that someone else loves. Eventually, you will stop being involved, and they will wonder what happened and be disappointed.
  3. Find out what your significant other likes and keep doing those things. If you enjoy them, then both of you will be smiling.
  4. Don’t get lazy about your relationship. You have to keep doing these activities to have a successful relationship.
  5. Remember, marriage is hard; it takes work.

Successful relationships have a strong commitment; there are constant communication and consistency.

“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” 
-Andre Maurois

The 3 C’s of a Loving, Lasting, Happy Marriage: Commitment

Raina Birden8 Comments

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The three C’s of a loving, lasting, happy marriage; commitment, communication and consistency. Not all of these come easy and sometimes they can be downright hard. I know from my 25-year marriage to my college sweetheart. I think that these three C’s are essential to marriage, no, let’s make that vital to a marriage. Yes, I do believe that there are principles in the Bible that can play a major role in a lasting, loving, happy marriage. In my blog, I am going to focus on the three C’s. I will break them up in a set of three blogs.

First Commitment, Websters dictionary says commitment is: a promise to be loyal to someone or something. How do you define commitment in a marriage? Many feel it comes from a sense of duty. Some people are afraid of the word commitment. Some compare it to a ball and chain that binds you to a wrong decision. And some don’t understand what real commitment is. I think of it more like an anchor. An anchor keeps a boat steady; commitment keeps a marriage steady. To be happy in your marriage, you need to feel more than just a sense of obligation to your spouse. Becoming best friends with your mate will help commitment grow in your relationship.

Marriage is not easy; it takes hard work. Commitment requires hard work and self-sacrifice. You have to be willing to compromise to please your mate. Too often one or the other in a relationship is not willing to yield. One may have the attitude of ” What’s in it for me?” How many selfish couples do you know who have a happy marriage? No matter how sweet the couple felt about each other when they first fell in love, if there is no commitment, then the relationship has less of a chance of lasting.

How do you strengthen your commitment in your marriage?

8 tips to help strengthen your marriage:

  1. Make your marriage a priority: If you invested little or no time in your relationship, then your mate will find it difficult to believe you are committed. Make sure you spend time together regularly. Give them your undivided attention.
  2. Actions: show your commitment by your behavior. Laugh together, date each other. Plan your future together.
  3. Tell them: tell your mate you are committed to your marriage. Make sure you children know that your are committed to your spouse.
  4. Remember: remember what you love about your spouse, remember all the positive parts of your relationship.
  5. Goals: What do you see happening in your marriage? How do you want it to grow, where do you want it to improve.
  6. Speech: Examine what you are saying to your spouse in the heat of an argument. Don’t say things you will later regret. You don’t want, to say things that undermine your commitment. But rather address the issue.
  7. Ask: Look at mature couples, those who have weathered marital issues successfully. Ask them questions to gain insight on what commitment means to them and how that has helped their marriage.
  8. Show it to everyone: Make it obvious that you are committed to your mate. Pictures of them at work, talk positively about them to friends and workmates. You will be emphasizing to others and yourself that you are committed to your spouse.

If you are experiencing problems in your marriage, now is the time to act! Now is the time to strengthen your commitment to each other. The tips above are just some that I have found useful. I hope you do too!

 

“I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with.” 
-Mary Ann Shaffer