Wow, I am sorry it has been a long time since my last post!
We have a lot going on in the months of April and May. A graduation to prepare for and … you have to keep reading to find out what other milestone is happening with the Birden’s. 🙂
“Why is he leaving me”?
I have found myself saying this a lot. I am taking it very personally as many mothers probably do. I can’t be the only one right! It took me some real reflection to accept that he is not actually leaving me. He is growing up and finding his own way in this world. But he is one of my babies all grown up and the first one to leave home. He is not just moving down the street or to the next town. He is moving to another state, 1350 miles away! I know I am certainly not the first mother to feel the pain of your child leaving home for the first time and I won’t be the last.
When I think about him leaving, the feeling of loss is overwhelming. I can only imagine what it will be like when he actually is gone. It’s hard, I want to be supportive of his choice to move away. I want him to feel good and confident on this move and me not supporting only could result in bad feelings. He is such a smart, funny, well-rounded young man and I know he is going to do well. But ugh I am a little, just a wee bit emotional about it all. 🙂
I remember when our children were little and I would think about this inevitable day. Ha! I thought then that hey, it will be great, I will have done my job and I will be ready to release them into the world. Whoa boy was I naive, it’s not easy. I remember crying when my oldest graduated from High School, thinking “no I am not ready for him to grow up”! But I have been able to have them home through their college years, maybe longer than some mothers have had, but finally it’s that time! So how am I going to deal? How will that void be filled? Well really it won’t be filled but I have found some advice on how I can cope successfully. Hopefully right!
- It’s normal to feel very emotional. Whew! Cry when you need to cry but also give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done!
- Understand motherhood is an evolution. You won’t stop being a mother to your child, you will just do it at a distance and in a different way.
- Remember your child isn’t moving away from you, he/she is moving toward their own life.
- To help ease the transition of not physically seeing your child. Technology is amazing today, so Skype, FaceTime is a great way to see your child as you communicate.
Our home will always be open to any of our children if they need to come back. I had to move back home during college so I know it happens. I am determined to be supportive and be his cheerleader as he moves into this next phase of his life. He knows we are sad to see him go, but he also knows we love him and support him in this move. He has his own normal emotions he is dealing with, excitement for his new adventure but sadness about leaving his family and friends. He is not moving to somewhere he has never been, he was raised for a large part of his life in Oregon. He will have family and friends there too.
So although I am sad at seeing this funny, loving little boy who has grown to a very funny, loving, intelligent young man leave home. I am also excited for his new adventure!
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new”
– Dan Millman
6 thoughts on “Change”
Beautiful post Raina. I am happy for Dante and his new adventure as well, I just wish his adventure was taking place a little closer to ‘home’. I am sure that he will do awesome wherever he is, as you and JJ have done an wonderful job raising an amazing young man. I am sure that beautiful smile will light up wherever he is and I hope he decides to bring it back to AZ one day…soon. I am always here for you.
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So well said Raina, It definitely put a lump in my throat as I think of my own 2 being away from home. It is bitter sweet for sure, but it is a chapter in life, that those of us blessed with children (God Willing) will experience. You and JJ are amazing people and fabulous parents and your children will carry your love and wisdom into their own life journeys.
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Very well expressed babe. I can definitely feel what your saying. No matter where he is, he’ll always be our little DD and he loves him some Mommy! 😉
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I feel you pain! Raina! My daughter is now in London doing her 2 years MFA. Is been a year now, and I got the hint that she will be there for ‘awhile’. You are right! They are not going away but trying out a new venture. See the sky at where they are standing. God bless to you all!
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Just reading your post brought me to tears. I will watch out for him. I have many years left for my two, but it is going fast. Breath.
Thank you sweet sister, I know you will.